My mind could not shut off because of the thoughts of condemnation that were racing through it.
I had been caught red-handed in a lie that I told a family member. The problem was, I could have easily told the truth. But I panicked and told her what I thought would get me out of the situation.
You are such a hypocrite, Shawn! You have not grown at all in your maturity. Look at you! You should be much farther along than you are in your walk with Christ! You are such a disappointment!
Hot tears splashed down my face in the dark. I tossed and turned for several hours before drifting into a shallow sleep.
I felt like a complete and utter failure.
How we leave the condemnation of failure behind
The black cloud of despair was still there the next morning. I cried out to the Lord for forgiveness, but I felt no relief.
I was desperate.
I knew I had to call my family member and tell her what I had done. I must have picked up the phone twenty times before I finally hit the last number on my phone to complete the call. Through my sobs, I let her know that I had lied to her and that I was asking her for her forgiveness. She graciously gave it to me and told me it was no big deal.
I ended the call and realized that none of the weight I had felt seemed to be gone, even though I had confessed both to the Lord and to the person I had sinned against.
I felt depressed and anxious. And very burdened. I wish I had known then what I have come to realize through the study of God’s Word about my failure and its resulting and lingering shame.
Had I known then what I know now, it would have saved me months of anguish and depressing thoughts about my sin.
I wanted to share the four most effective ways I have found to leave the condemnation of failure behind.
1) We have to remind ourselves that we have a sworn, unseen enemy.
The moment I gave my life to Christ, I acquired an unseen enemy. I must remember that Satan is a roaring lion seeking to devour me with thoughts of hopelessness (1 Peter 5:8). He is the accuser who is relentless to point out my failures before God day and night (Revelation 12:10).
There is nothing he would like to do more than to steal our joy, kill our hope, and destroy our peace. He is a thief who capitalizes on every opportunity to discourage us (John 10:10). We must know God’s character to spot his lies of condemnation.
2) Know whose voice we are listening to
The thoughts that ran through my mind, not allowing me to sleep, were not from God. But they sure sounded like they were at first.
I was not equipped enough at that point to know enough about the character of God to know they were from the accuser.
When I feel like I have failed in some way, my thoughts can become very chaotic. I can obsess over every little detail surrounding the failure.
This is when I must know the difference between conviction and condemnation. Feelings of worthlessness, shame, and rejection by God do not come from the Holy Spirit. This is the voice of condemnation. Satan masquerades as an angel of light. He is crafty and cunning.
The Holy Spirit points out our wrongdoing, but always leave us with hope and a way to be reconciled to the Lord. The voice of conviction gives us courage to repent, assurance of God’s forgiveness, and instructs us with truth on how to get out of the mess.
If I have done all that I can to seek forgiveness from the Lord and anyone else that I have wronged, I must immediately arrest in my mind any thought of condemnation. I am promised in God’s Word that I have weapons that allow me to demolish any thought that sets itself up against the knowledge of God and take that thought captive. I then ask God to make that thought obedient to Christ (2 Corinthians 10:3-5).
I have to ask myself:
Do I feel encouraged and hopeful by truth when confronted with my failure or discouraged and condemned with accusations from the evil one?
I must know who is speaking to me!
- Submit to God’s authority (He has forgiven me of confessed sin)
- Resist that thought from taking root in my mind.
- Ask the Lord to make it obedient to Christ.
- Wait for the relief as Scripture has promised Satan must flee from me.
3) Using the weapon of praise
Nothing will make Satan flee like hearing us praise out loud. One of the quickest ways I know to regain hope after feeling like a failure is to say Scriptural truths out loud so that my ears can hear what my mouth is saying. I have sometimes had to use this weapon a hundred times a day when relief is slow to stay. The Word of God will not return void. Something profound happens in me as I thank the Lord that He has promised me abundant life, not a life of self-loathing or being paralyzed. I praise Him that His mercies are new every morning (it’s amazing what a good night’s sleep will do!). If I have to call out to Him to rescue me 100 times a day, He welcomes me every time with delight and no condemnation.
4) Exercising my faith instead of believing my emotions
I believe there is no burden heavier than the burden of guilt. Failure has consumed me and has had me asking for forgiveness for the same sin one even though Scripture tells me that I am forgiven the first time I acknowledge and repent. I was forgiven before I confessed to my family member because I had asked forgiveness from the Lord.
My continual asking for forgiveness has shown me that I have believed my emotions instead of the truth that I have been forgiven. It is a very dangerous thing to equate my emotions with my standing before God. I have got to stand on the truth of Scripture, believing it by faith, when I cannot find peace even though I have asked to be cleansed from my sin. Hebrews 11:1 gives me the definition of faith:
“Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see.”
Faith is believing, in spite of my emotions, that Jesus’ death on the cross allows me to be forgiven, even when I don’t feel like I am.
“If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.” I John 1:9
“The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit; a broken and contrite heart, O God, you will not despise.” Psalm 51:17
“Once again you will have compassion on us. You will trample our sins under your feet and throw them into the depths of the ocean!” Micah 7:19
Those sins that we have been carrying around are forgiven the moment we confess and repent of them. If we are broken and contrite about what we have done, our God will not despise us. He longs to be compassionate to us. Our confessed sins have been thrown into the depths of God’s ocean of forgiveness. We can walk away and leave them with Him.
To recap how we leave the condemnation behind:
- Remind ourselves that we have a sworn, unseen enemy. Condemnation never comes from Holy Spirit, but from Satan.
- Know whose voice we are listening to
- Use the weapon of praise
- Exercise our faith instead of believing our emotions
May you and I become experts at leaving the condemnation of failure and shame with our righteous God who has promised us that we don’t have to carry it around with us anymore!
33 Who shall bring any charge against God’s elect? It is God who justifies. 34 Who is to condemn? Christ Jesus is the one who died—more than that, who was raised—who is at the right hand of God, who indeed is interceding for us. 35 Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall tribulation, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or danger, or sword? 36 As it is written,
“For your sake we are being killed all the day long;
we are regarded as sheep to be slaughtered.”
37 No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. 38 For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, 39 nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord. Romans 8:33-39 (ESV)
