“To all perfection I see a limit; but your commands are boundless.”
Psalm 119:96 (NIV)
Have you ever been caught unaware by a visitor to your front door when your house was sporting that “lived-in” look? I have. I wish I was more like my mother-in-law, who never has anything out of place. But I am not. Never have been, never will be. While I do not want to live in filth, housework is definitely NOT my first priority.
Holly and our Bible study group have laughed over the fact that the first thing some of us do is start apologizing for the dirty dishes in the sink, the craft materials on the table, and the Cheerios on the floor. We act as though that is not the normal state of our homes most of the time. With children, it is almost impossible to have no mess. But I clean like a crazy woman for company (expected company!) to get my house looking like it is in a perpetually perfect state. It is only when others are in my house that my house has a manageable amount of laundry, vacuumed carpets (with the lines in them!), and floors that someone could eat off of.
Holly read to us from one of her favorite authors who refuses to make apologies for her messes to unannounced guests. Instead, she says, “Welcome to my home where there is evidence of life.” I have found that my mothering demands my time to be spent with my children, not the cobwebs. A secure child does not just happen. It means that though the dishes are screaming at me, when my eight-year-old says, “Mommy, will you read to me,” that I need to let that unsightly pile stay in the sink a little longer. Jenna will one day leave my nest. I’ll have all the time in the world to do housework then, but her voice will never sound like an eight-year-old’s voice after this year. My almost eleven-year-old Jordyn needs me to answer those puzzling questions about hurts and attitudes at school now, not when the never-ending laundry is done. She is looking more like a young woman than a child everyday. And my almost twelve-year-old son needs to feel loved by my listening to him in the dark when he feels comfortable telling me things that don’t require eye contact.
I find that I try to pretend my life is perfect, just like I try to pretend my house is perfect, to others. You know what? Jesus is not interested in a perfect life. He knows I can never achieve perfection this side of eternity. It doesn’t give me an excuse to not pursue holiness in my life, but my messes are evidence of life on this planet earth. Girlfriends, life is messy! We can play the absolutely exhausting game of pretending that we have it altogether, or we can live and learn from our mistakes and share part of His glory doing it that way. He does not condemn us. He welcomes us, broken people that we are.
Next time the enemy says, “What a mess,” let’s tell him that we do not apologize for that. Instead, let’s tell him that our God is big enough to clean up any mess that we might have made and that we can’t wait to see how He is going to do it. That’s evidence of life and the miracle of the God of wonders that we belong to!
Jesus, thank You that You are my perfection. Thank You that You are able to handle any mess, no matter how awful it is, in my life. Save me from the exhausting isolation of thinking I have to have it altogether to be worthy. My worth is found in You and Your ability to clean up any mess I have made.
georgia tarheel says
GIRLFRIEND! That was good and SO needed! I am always apologizing for the state of my house…it isn’t even clean after I have cleaned it (the only room clean is the one I just finish…the kids come behind and start pulling out all I have just put up!)
I find that I make more apologies to people (who probably don’t care) about my house, than I do to my God (who, on the flip side, DOES care about my “house”) concerning the state of my heart! It is such a nice reminder that I don’t have to be perfect…I just have to be forgiven!
BTW-my sister always says that the house does not need to be cleaned until the dirt may kill the family or make them sick. That gave me such relief and freedom…I don’t clean every Friday like I used to! Only when it is dangerous to the kiddos! LOL
Great lesson, thanks for sharing…and being diligent to listen to Him so you can share!
Emily says
Oh Shawn, I can SO relate!! I constantly struggle with this continual burden of a messy house! It is a spiritual issue to me, I am not kidding! My flesh tells me that if I could only get all of the “stuff” picked up and together that my life will suddenly get itself together as well. I find myself stuck in a rut imagining how much better I will become as soon as I get all straightened out (physically and emotionally), instead of allowing Jesus to straighten it out. Right now I’m working on submitting to Him more and accepting His control over my life instead of my own. I am praying for His Holy Spirit to change me from the inside out! Thank you for this post! Love, Emily
Melinda says
I have a friend who used to say “If you’re coming to visit me, drop by anytime; if you’re coming to visit my house, make an appointment!” I love this because it’s really helped this people-pleaser keep things in perspective over the years.
SO thankful that God understands the messiness of life on the exterior and helps us with the pursuit of cleanliness on the interior.
Great post!
JoLewis says
so very true….
karen44 says
Um…I guess I’m too much like my Mom then, because I often make my kids wait until I’ve cleaned up (insert item here) before I’ll go to them. That’s not good.
But I have been convicted that my kids, too, will only be these ages for just this year. And I need to give them my priority time.
So next time you see me if my house is a wreck — congratulate me! I’ve been giving my kids the first-fruits of my time!
-k
created2teach says
Ah, received like a breath of fresh air! Being a mommy, wife, teacher, student, minister of music (which has taken a back seat lately), I am overwhelmed. That was a much needed message. Thank you.